


Vindicated

by monkeywand



Category: Smallville
Genre: Comfort, Hurt, Lana's POV, Romance, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 05:45:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16550069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkeywand/pseuds/monkeywand
Summary: Lana's memories of her and Clark - both good and bad





	Vindicated

I stare out the window into the abyss of unknown. My eyes glaze over and I look without really seeing. Music blasts through my head, helping me forget.

**Hope, dangles on a string**

**Like slow spinning redemption**

**Winding in and winding out**

**The shine of it has caught my eye**

**Roped me in so mesmerizing**

**And so hypnotizing**

**I am captivated**

**I am...**

My eyes close trying to block out the memories but they keep coming. Colorful reminders of my past…

_I hold out the birthday cake I brought for Clark. "Make a wish," I say. Clark looks at me, eyes unreadable._

" _I've been wishing for the same thing ever since I was 5," he says softly._

" _And now?" I ask._

" _And now I don't have to." He puts down the cake I'm still holding. "She's standing right here in front of me."_

**Vindicated**

**I am selfish, I am wrong**

**I am right, I swear I'm right**

**Swear I knew it all along**

**And I am flawed**

**But I am cleaning up so well**

**I am seeing in me now**

**The things you swore you saw yourself**

" _So, um… any chance we could do something this weekend? You know, as friends?" I ask, standing on the steps below Clark._

" _Sure. What did you have in mind?" he replies smiling._

" _Well, it's been like an oven outside, so I was thinking we could go swimming at Crater Lake," I suggest._

_Clark looks embarrassed. "I really don't think skinny-dipping is a good idea," he says, going red._

_I give him a strange look. "Who said anything about skinny-dipping?" I ask. I walk off laughing. "Maybe in your dreams, Clark."_

**So clear**

**Like the diamond in your ring**

**Cut to mirror your intention**

**Oversized and overwhelmed**

**The shine of which has caught my eye**

**And rendered me so isolated**

**So motivated, I am certain now**

**That I am…**

_I walk up the Kent's driveway to where Clark is waiting. "Do I look different to you now?" he asks concerned. I smile as I reply._

" _Clark, you look like the same handsome man I've always known." Clark looks upset._

" _Handsome as in I wanna spend the rest of my life with you or handsome I'm gonna let you down easy?" he asks. I smile and savor the moment._

" _As in yes Clark, I'll marry you." Clark looks relieved. He slips the ring I'm holding onto my finger then picks me up._

_  
_ **Vindicated**

**I am selfish, I am wrong**

**I am right, I swear I'm right**

**Swear I knew it all along**

**And I am flawed**

**But I am cleaning up so well**

**I am seeing in me now**

**The things you swore you saw yourself**

With every memory, my eyes fill with tears, tracing an unknown pattern down my face. 

" _You warned me there were things about you that I wouldn't understand. I guess I just didn't want to believe it," I say confused._

_"I was protecting you," Clark protests._

_"From what?" I snap. "That's the part I can't figure out because, Clark, the only thing that keeps hurting me is you," I accuse, tears running silently down my face._

**So turn up the corners of your lips**

**Part them and feel my finger tips**

**Trace the moment, fall forever**

**Defense is paper thin**

**Just one touch and I'd be in too deep now**

**To ever swim against the current**

_I climb out of the pool and step closer to Clark. Water runs down my body leaving small puddle where I stand. "I know you want me Clark. Stop holding back. Come on. You want me to steal? All right," I say, seductively. I kiss him passionately on the lips._

" _Wait," Clark_   _stutters. I get annoyed._

_"Aren't you tired of waiting?" Clark stumbles on edge of pool. I laugh._

" _Need a little help warming up?" I ask, pushing him into the water_.

**So let me slip away, so let me slip away**

**So let me slip away, so let me slip against the current**

**So let me slip away, so let me slip away**

**So let me slip away, so let me slip away**

_Clark shakes his head at me. "It wasn't easy for me to see you with another guy," he says jealously. I sit down next to him._

" _Are you still sure you don't want to be that guy, Clark?" I ask seriously._

" _Lana…" I shake my head._

" _It's alright Clark. I just…I wanted to make sure before I told you this." Clark looks at me expectantly. I take a breath. "Even though my compass was way off with Seth, he still had the courage to be honest with me."_

" _Then he used his abilities to manipulate you," Clark buts in._

" _I am not condoning what he did," I retort. "Believe me I'm paying for it." I smile. "Still felt good; caring for someone and having my feelings returned. I want that again."_

" _I don't expect you to wait forever for me," Clark explains._

" _Good, because one of these days someone's gonna come along who is right for me and I'm gonna want to be with that person. And you're gonna have to deal with that," I point out angrily._

**Vindicated**

**I am selfish, I am wrong**

**I am right, I swear I'm right**

**Swear I knew it all along**

**And I am flawed**

**But I am cleaning up so well**

**I am seeing in me now**

**The things you swore you saw yourself**

" _Clark, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me," I say. Clark looks at me with sad eyes._

" _I don't love you." I stare at him shocked._

" _I have waited for you to grow up, to get over any hang-ups you may have," I state._

" _I never meant to hurt you," Clark starts._

" _I don't want another Clark Kent apology," I snap. I look at him with tears in my eyes. "It's over… Forever."_

**Like hope, dangles on a string**

**Like slow spinning redemption**

The memories fade out into nothingness leaving me feeling empty. The music fades along with it and my mind becomes a void of blankness. My eyes let loose no more tears and I lay down, hoping that maybe one day I might have the courage to finally face the man I left behind.

**Author's Note:**

> One of my earliest works. Originally posted in 2008.


End file.
